Indiana Jones 4 Saved My Life.
In 2008, my life was very different. I worked in a call center as a supervisor and effectively had committed the hugest mistake most people make in their lives, career first. I worked 12-14 hours a day 5 days a week and my days off were pretty much spent sleeping. I was missing out on a lot of my family's life. I had to miss my daughter's 8th grade graduation, well no I did HAVE to, but I couldn't get the time off and I wouldn't call in. This ends up being one of my biggest regrets in my life believe it or not, but I digress.
In two years I missed a grand total of 4 hours of work (and in actuality that was one of my bosses fault for telling me the wrong time to report to work, of course it never got corrected). The company (ACS, Affiliated Computer Services) was an outsourcing company that handled customer care for cell phone companies. As you can imagine it is hard dealing with people who are demanding this or that. That is not to say anything bad, but if you ever worked with the public you know how difficult it can be sometimes.
When I got the rank of supervisor I thought my hard work had paid off, however I refused to realize just how miserable I was in my job. That is until, on the day after my two year anniversary in the company, my boss attempted to humiliate me in front of my peers in a meeting. Now I don't mean some one liner zinger, I mean dragged me through the coals for like 20 min. You know what else, it was all over minor BS. My direct supervisor also took the time to give even more artillery to the main manager to further attempt to humiliate me. While I could see some of the problems they were speaking to me about, at the very least it should have been done quietly in an office away from everyone else and also in a calmer manner. During the meeting, while my colleges stared at the ground like school children worried the teacher might turn her attention to them, I realized how ineffective their leadership was. In fact their actions rubbed against anything we had been told by the same people to do in relation to our workers. In other words they didn't practice what they preached.
I suppose I should take this opportunity to thank my former bosses cause if they didn't treat a worker who missed 4 hours in two years so harshly I probably would have never went back to college. An experience that has been the most rewarding of my life.
So after the meeting I sat outside for a moment, thought about what they had tried to do to me, realized that it was their own insecurities coming out and that if they were effective leaders they would have handled that whole situation better and walked back in to pack up and leave. Some people tried to stop me but the damage had been done, I just told them that if I wasn't wanted I wasn't going to stay and be further humiliated. That and that the bosses should treat us the way they would like to be treated. They weren't perfect either and they should realize that a person is more valuable than that.
So after I left there was a conundrum (which leads me to the point of all this, sorry to take so long). I had become "the job" as it were, something I had promised myself I would never do in my life, but also something that made it quite hard to re-relate to my family. What made it even harder was I couldn't fully express why I was the way I was now. I felt empty, shallow, and unfulfilled, the exact same feelings I felt at work but now I didn't have the job to compensate for it. Relating to my family was hard to do to say the least. My job had been to be an asshole and I had become very good at it. I had become something I wasn't and forgot who I was in the process. I had sold out and coming back was not easy.
Then, on our wedding anniversary, my whole family decided to go out to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The movie had been lambasted all over the internet at this point but I still wanted to see what the big deal was about it. I think if the movie had come out a year before I would have lambasted it along with all the others on the interwebs.
But instead I sat and watched and suddenly, miraculously a piece of what I had lost came back. The Problems with the film were not greater or less than problems with the previous three films (i.e. Raiders of the Lost Ark and Indy outside the submarine). So I watched and instead of getting mad about those points the child in me emerged. That same kid who watched Temple of Doom and accepted the sky diving with an inflatable raft, or the aforementioned Raiders sub sequence. A smile drew across my face and I was happy. For the first time in years I felt glee in my heart and younger than ever.
Today over a year later, I have gone back to college and been named to the honors society, not because I am "the job" but because I never want to go back to that dark time and I know with my education my opportunities to not "be the job" are greater. My relationship with my family is stronger than ever, they see that the me that was stuck in a cubicle and who sacrificed his soul has moved on to a brighter tomorrow. Perfect, no, nothing ever is, but they know now I will never miss a single moment of their lives because the job demands it. I have lost 30 lbs and continue to work towards the best shape of my life. Also while I still have a touch of the hooch now and then, I don't drink to distress anymore, which is a bad idea to being with and was something that probably would have led me to a much darker place. And yes the road to where I am and am going was kick started by a simple summer movie, one that while many people profess to hate, I love. The movie also kick started Toxie's 1:18th Universe which has received tons of feedback almost exclusively positive. A story done for no other reason than to have some fun, something missing from our world I think.
So now I keep the movie poster for Indian Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull above my desk. Its a reminder that no one in life ever sat on their death bed and said "I wish I had worked more." That selling out your soul is not worth any price, and that family comes first. That being yourself, your true self is the most rewarding thing you can do and that following the crowd just leads to emotional turmoil. That following that path leads to happiness and traveling the road often traveled leads to despair and aggravation and unless you find your own path you will lose all that is important to you, including yourself.